Madison: “Gift of God, strong in battle; associated with strength, resilience and courage.” 

Anthony: “Priceless One. Flourishing. Associated with being inestimable and irreplaceable.”

The names and their meaning stream across my phone at 3am as I am scrolling on yet another sleepless night. We haven’t gotten much sleep lately. Maybe it’s because I am 21 weeks pregnant and I have been rolling around like a gas station hot dog for the last three months, or maybe it’s because at our 20 week ultrasound we found out our baby has a cleft lip and palate; and now at 21 weeks we found out my water has broken and I am 1cm dilated already.

I have waited my whole life to be a mom. I went to school, got the job, got the guy and it was time to grow our family. After months of negative tests, on an early June morning two days before I was supposed to leave for a bachelorette party in Nashville, it happened. Two little pink lines, they were faint, but they were there; I was finally going to be a mom. 

We picked two names because we have decided not to find out the gender until baby comes. I reread the meaning of our names as I think back to that hot June morning when we found out our lives were going to change forever. Our lives were about to change alright, but it would be nothing like how we pictured it. Madison: “Gift of God, strong in battle; associated with strength, resilience and courage.” Anthony: “Priceless One. Flourishing. Associated with being inestimable and irreplaceable.” At least we picked a perfect name for what would soon become our little warrior baby.